The secret symbiosis

An interesting mutualism has developed between me, Lesley, and Zach. As a result, Zach (mistakenly) believes his Parents are pretty damn cool.

For example:
It's Wednesday and Zach thinks he's going to school.
Nope, sorry dude. You're going to Disneyland.

It's Friday and Zach thinks he's going to school.
Nope, sorry dude. You're going to the Zoo.

It's Saturday and Zach doesn't know what day it is so he thinks he's going to school.
Nope, sorry dude. You're going to the aquarium.

It's Wednesday and Zach is actually in school.
He comes home to this.

Zach: "Is it Christmas?"
Nope not yet.

"My Birthday?"
Sorry not today.

"I'm awesome?"
Strike three.

Son, we could bullshit you and say we do these things because we love you. But as usual we're going to give it to you straight:
*whispers* None of this stuff actually has that much to do with you.

Don't get your diapers in a bunch, allow me to explain.

Take this tent-tunnel thing I just bought you today as an example: Before I purchased it, while I was driving home with it and later cursing and breaking my back while putting it together, I was distinctly aware of the possibility and even high probability that you would totally ignore it and just play with the box.

Did that deter me?
No

Why? Because I thought it looked fun to play in*.

I call this the secret symbiosis.

Is it a crime that we are enjoying your childhood as much as you are?Okay, that's probably a bad example. But you still see my point.

Yet, some will say that what we are doing is still spoiling you. Sending the wrong message.

I respectfully disagree. Our message is clear and appropriate:
Son, you are not the center of the Universe.

BUT YOUR PARENTS ARE.

Now if you'll excuse me, You'll be home in a few hours and I've got a puppet show to rehearse.

*Be sure to ask your Grandma Lyndell about the time she gave your Mom a Doll-house for Christmas.