Homecomings

By the time Lesley and Zachary were ready to be discharged from the hospital, my brain had been saturated with horror stories of non-stop colic-induced screaming fits, projectile vomit, and crap filled bathtubs. So naturally I began to wonder about hospital protocol and if they had any policy regarding inept parents. I was convinced that they would take one look at us, and (appropriately) tell us that there was no way they could legally allow retards to go home with such precious cargo. Obviously they did allow us to leave, and against our better judgment, we did.

A good friend of mine summed up this sensation perfectly while comforting my brother after the birth of his daughter, Elsa. He said to him, "For the first time in your short, pathetic, ego-centric existence, you are ENTIRELY responsible for the life of another human being". At the time, I thought he was being overly harsh. However now I can see truth and even warmth in his words. I realize that what he was doing for my brother was sharing a sacred secret hand-shake of sorts that is inherently understood among all parents;

You as an individual simply don't matter anymore. You won't care about anything, not one damn thing in the whole wide world, except your kid...and be prepared to love it.

I remember the exact moment the true nature of these words hit me. I was looking down at my son, he had been home for only a few hours. I was changing his diaper, and I believe I was literally covered up to my elbows in crap. That's when he smiled at me. SMILED. AT. ME. Honestly, in that moment my heart stopped beating, lept right out of my body and crawled into this tiny little person laying on the table in front of me. My heart belongs to him and I don't ever want it back.

I've seen this impossible event take place time and time again. My Father-In-Law, John, looked like he had been whacked on the back of his head as all of his vital organs decided to begin living for someone else. My mother (whom has experienced this sensation before) looked no more physically or emotionally fit after her first encounter either. All in all, I've seen him casually and effortlessly take the lives of no less than five unsuspecting innocent people. All of them more than happy to have fallen victim.

Link to Homecoming pics HERE