This week, Zachary turns 9 months old. Hence, he will now have spent about equal time in utero, and out of utero (this isn’t exactly true, because in pregnancy counting includes 2 weeks of ovulation, where Zachary was genetically only half the man he was to become).
But, close enough.
More to the point, I have now spent equal time in pregnancy and post partum. Prior to and during this whole experience, I had some definitive perceptions about what this pregnancy, birth, and being a mom would be like. Like any scientist, I collected sources, reviewed them for accuracy, and then formulated my own hypothesis or theory. My sources were plentiful: books, parents (including my own mom), movies, and childbirth classes, ect.
More to the point, I have now spent equal time in pregnancy and post partum. Prior to and during this whole experience, I had some definitive perceptions about what this pregnancy, birth, and being a mom would be like. Like any scientist, I collected sources, reviewed them for accuracy, and then formulated my own hypothesis or theory. My sources were plentiful: books, parents (including my own mom), movies, and childbirth classes, ect.
Some of these perceptions turned out to be true, and some, not true at all. Thus, this series will be to accurately evaluate (and in some cases debunk) those ideas that we unsuspecting new mothers hold as truth, and nothing but the truth (aka Factcheck.org).
Since Zachary does really take up all of my spare time. This will need to be done in a four or five part series.
#1: Hollywood’s depiction of morning sickness. (i.e. Knocked Up, Saved, Juno, ect.)
MYTH!!! All of those unlucky mothers out there who have gone through “morning” sickness KNOW what I am talking about. First, let’s talk about what Hollywood did get right: morning sickness is not limited to morning. Whoever cooked up that misnomer ought to be shot. Mostly because unsuspecting new pregnancies like me believe that names are meant to be accurate. If names were accurate, then morning sickness is really all-day-all-night-sickness. But, here is where Hollywood gets it wrong.
Scene from Knocked Up: A newly pregnant Kathryn Heigl is interviewing someone for TV. Suddenly she starts to feel a bit ill, and then she runs offstage spewing into a can.
Why this is scene grossly under prepares the newly pregnant mother for what is really to come. It implies that (1) nausea comes on suddenly, (2) the rest of the time you are fine and (3) you have the capacity to function beyond an infantile state.
Here is the reality. When you have morning sickness, you are nauseated ALL of the time. You don’t just suddenly think, Huh, I’m really not feeling so hot, maybe I’ll go vomit now. Nooooo. You've been hit with a 10-week case of Salmonella poisoning. You learn every curve and detail of your home toilet during this time, and probably the tiling patterns of your work bathroom too.
Second falsehood propagated on the silver screen: when your head is not in the nearest receptacle, life is fine and dandy and you are functioning like a normal person. HA! Do you function normally during a bout of food poisoning? Thought not. The best part of each day is after you’ve finished a round (yes, a round) of vomiting and you get that 10 minute recovery feeling where you actually think you might be able to eat something now….once your nose stops burning.
Since Zachary does really take up all of my spare time. This will need to be done in a four or five part series.
#1: Hollywood’s depiction of morning sickness. (i.e. Knocked Up, Saved, Juno, ect.)
MYTH!!! All of those unlucky mothers out there who have gone through “morning” sickness KNOW what I am talking about. First, let’s talk about what Hollywood did get right: morning sickness is not limited to morning. Whoever cooked up that misnomer ought to be shot. Mostly because unsuspecting new pregnancies like me believe that names are meant to be accurate. If names were accurate, then morning sickness is really all-day-all-night-sickness. But, here is where Hollywood gets it wrong.
Scene from Knocked Up: A newly pregnant Kathryn Heigl is interviewing someone for TV. Suddenly she starts to feel a bit ill, and then she runs offstage spewing into a can.
Why this is scene grossly under prepares the newly pregnant mother for what is really to come. It implies that (1) nausea comes on suddenly, (2) the rest of the time you are fine and (3) you have the capacity to function beyond an infantile state.
Here is the reality. When you have morning sickness, you are nauseated ALL of the time. You don’t just suddenly think, Huh, I’m really not feeling so hot, maybe I’ll go vomit now. Nooooo. You've been hit with a 10-week case of Salmonella poisoning. You learn every curve and detail of your home toilet during this time, and probably the tiling patterns of your work bathroom too.
Second falsehood propagated on the silver screen: when your head is not in the nearest receptacle, life is fine and dandy and you are functioning like a normal person. HA! Do you function normally during a bout of food poisoning? Thought not. The best part of each day is after you’ve finished a round (yes, a round) of vomiting and you get that 10 minute recovery feeling where you actually think you might be able to eat something now….once your nose stops burning.
#2: The second trimester is the best part, you’ll glow.
Mostly true, except the glowing part. The second trimester IS the best of pregnancy, but saying that you’ll glow is really stretching it. I think that “glow” is mistaken for the look of complete relief that morning sickness is only occuring a couple hours per day. A more accurate depiction of the second trimester is this: Here is the stage with the LEAST amount of problems…
Here is a picture of me transitioning from the second to third trimester. That is a look of relief!
More to come...
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